


Dollhouse

by 21freys



Series: A Fight in the Dark [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, I'm going all out on sad things I'm sorry, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOURE EASILY TRIGGERED OR STRUGGLING WITH GENDER ISSUES, Parental Abuse, Suicide, Trans Male Character, blurryface in italics, kind of he hasn't transitioned yet, kind of not really?, song lyrics in bold, um okay so here we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:26:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4666440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/21freys/pseuds/21freys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>oh god I'm so sorry in advance, please dont read this if you're easily triggered, i um yeah this is i guess kind of based on real life but yeah. sorry. please stay safe, i love you , no matter who you are, i love you. also i apologise for punctuation/spelling errors I'm bad with that stuff when its personal okay</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dollhouse

**Hey girl, open the walls, play with your dolls**

**We'll be a perfect family.**

Shes quiet today, calmer, probably because I didn’t dream last night, she has no ammunition for the moment. I think I have school today, I’ve forgotten what day it is but my dad is yelling for me to come down so I must, I walk past the cracked mirror and avoid looking into it as I go.

**When you walk away, is when we really play**

**You don't hear me when I say,**

Breakfast time, I avoid it, food gives her ammunition, food isn’t allowed. “Charlotte eat something now this is ridiculous how do you expect to pass your classes”

_See **charlotte**_ _you need to eat something **charlotte**_

“Its Tyler” I want to scream but I don’t and I wont, no matter how much I want to flinch at it, I must stay quiet, no one has time for me to be even more of an embarrassment. I down some juice and get out some bread, eating half and throwing the rest away. Plain I cant cope with anything else.

_Don’t deserve anything else_

blurry is here now she wont leave for the day. One day was always too much to expect I guess

**"Mom, please wake up.**

**Dad's with a slut, and your son is smoking cannabis."**

**No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens**

**Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchen.**

Zack walks by with a quick “hey nerd” he needs to leave early if he wants to get to school early he has his band practice or something, maybe hes just going to get high. I laugh at the thought, a perfect Christian boy hiding that. Zacks always had it all, hes been the perfect child since before he was born. I could never quite figured it out, the perfect Christian girl was never really my thing but I can promise, as much as my parents don’t believe it, I try I always try harder than they will ever know.

I'm broken out of my thoughts by my mom yelling that I need to drive zack to school for her because shes got a meeting.

_Come on **charlotte** don’t be even worse a daughter than you already are_

“shut the fuck up” I mutter but I know shes right so I hurry to get ready.

**Places, places, get in your places**

**Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces.**

**Everyone thinks that we're perfect**

**Please don't let them look through the curtains.**

My school skirt itches, it doesn’t fit right, but then again nothing fits right anymore its all too big, good covers up the curves that shouldn’t be there. I drop zack at school and I cant be bothered to even try and turn up at my school, I drive to the mall because I realize I cant just walk around in my school uniform all day. I park the car and walk as fast as I can, quickly going into target and buying a pair of slacks and a fairly gender neutral shirt, it will do for the moment. As I hurry to the bathroom to change I walk straight into someone, great. Somehow we’ve both ended up on the floor and I'm stuttering out multiple apologies but he just smiles and says “nah dude its all chill my fault”

Dude? no ones ever called me that before, the long hair and skirts tend to make people call me sweetie, or honey. I realize hes my age, with a lip piercing? Woah okay this guy is super good looking I'm not gonna lie, I feel myself flush and I smile and start to walk into the bathroom when a man that’s walking out stops and clears his throat.

The boy looks at him, “yes?”

“I'm sorry I just wanted to let her know that these are the male bathrooms and you are not male. Please leave”

I feel my face fall, I know I shouldn’t expect anything more but it still hurts. The boy steps forward he looks angry for some reason, maybe he’s angry with me for coming into the male bathroom, shit, I knew it was a bad idea. He takes a step forward and I flinch away but he walks towards the man instead.

“how about you fuck off and mind your own business you don’t know anything about this person, and they aren’t hurting you in any way. Get the fuck out of my face”

the man looks angry and taken aback but he walks out all the same, perks of being a punk kid I guess, you scare the elderly. the boy turns around and smiles slightly and holds out his hand.

“hi I'm josh” his face turns to one of concern “are you okay?” I realize I'm shaking and I try to smile but instead I sob slightly, “hey hey that guy was an asshole okay? Its okay whats your name?”

**Picture, picture, smile for the picture**

**Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?**

**Everyone thinks that we're perfect**

**Please don't let them look through the curtains.**

“t-tyler” its weird saying it out loud, feels good though, it feels right. He smiles and it take up his whole face, it lights up and crinkles his eyes. I cant help smiling slightly but I am still shaking. So its kind of hard to answer. “t-thank you for that I-I…’

“hey its nothing okay don’t mention it, um did you want to talk about some things? I'm happy to help and listen if you need someone to talk to, I know we just met but hey…”

“uh I, yah I think id like that but let me just get changed do you mind? I'm sorry”

“nah dude its fine I had no plans for the day, I get the feeling you’re cutting school as well” I blushed but smiled nervously, and went to get changed while he waited outside, this was weird I know it is and I'm pretty sure this is not anything like what normal people do.

**D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E**

**I see things that nobody else sees.**

**(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E**

**I see things that nobody else sees)**

We get drinks and we go sit in the park that is near the mall, I brushed my hair off my shoulder impatiently, tugging on it slightly. “jesus I hate this hair,” I couldn’t stop myself I had to say it, it slipped out.

“why do you have it then?”

“I-its not that simple josh, Jesus I cant get it cut I'm still a _girl_ in everyone else’s eyes”

“You might be yeah but not in your eyes Tyler, its just a hair cut. If they freak out just say you got gum in it or burnt it”of course he has a point but its not that easy and I don’t know how to explain how scared I am.

_Tell him your name **Charlotte** stop lying to him you just want to be tyler_

I am tyler I am tyler

“I know you are tyler you are tyler and nobody else, one day you can just be tyler and you wont be scared anymore”

apparently I said the last part out loud but I guess it didn’t matter . josh and I have been talking for hours by now he knows all about the problems I have, and in turn I’d found out about his anxiety and his parents and how badly they treat him. I trusted him weirdly enough even though I know I shouldn’t have, trusting people meant pain but I guess I deserve it anyway. I suddenly thought of something.

“josh, d-dyou think I should get a hair cut?”

“yes I just said that dude”

“no I mean like right now” his face brightened up and he jumped up

**Hey girl, look at my mom, she's got it going on**

**Ha, you're blinded by her jewelry.**

**When you turn your back she pulls out a flask**

**And forgets his infidelity.**

**Uh-oh, she's coming to the attic, plastic,**

**Go back to being plastic.**

I looked in the mirror as the woman showed me my hair, it was amazing I was tearing up I couldn’t believe I’d actually managed to do this. Josh was grinning in the corner.

“Tyler that looks fucking awesome oh my god”

I couldn’t help grinning back, I felt euphoric so I jumped up and pulled him into a hug, he made a small sound of surprise but he hugged back. When I finally pulled away he was smiling and blushing slightly, I blushed as well I realized id almost only just met this guy and I was hugging him like I’d never loved anyone as much. Which sadly was almost true as he was the first person to actually not care and just call me who I was.

I looked at my phone and realized it was 4:30

“oh shit, oh shit um josh I'm so sorry but I have to get home i- thankyou so much for everything”

“hey dude its cool, um do you think maybe I could have your number?”

“oh yeah sure of course, you’d better text me though,” he laughed but he looked so relieved it was so cute. I put my number into his phone under the contact name: tyler<3 and hugged him goodbye before running out.

**No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens**

**One day they'll see what goes down in the kitchen.**

**Places, places, get in your places**

**Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces.**

**Everyone thinks that we're perfect**

**Please don't let them look through the curtains.**

Even before id gotten to the car I had a text from josh,

Josh: hey it was really good talking you today man, I know things r hard but u can do this ok?

I smiled before quickly typing a reply as I shoved my stuff into the back seat

Tyler: hey dude yeah thank you so much for everything I owe you a whole lot, and you can do it as well okay? Feel free to call me if your parents get bad again

When I got home I had three unread messages from himbut I couldn’t read them I had to go inside and hope to god they hadn’t noticed I was missing.

They had.

**Picture, picture, smile for the picture**

**Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?**

**Everyone thinks that we're perfect**

**Please don't let them look through the curtains.**

“CHARLOTTE ROBERTA JOSEPH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN” I cringed my mothers voice was there as soon as I opened the door.

“I'm sorry I just had to pick something up from the mall” I said softly as I tried to go upstairs”

“IN HERE NOW CHARLOTTE” I winced and walked slowly into the living room. As soon as she saw me my mother gasped. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE”

my hair oh shit… “its just a haircut mom I'm sorry it was getting in the way of focusing for schoolwork”

“You cant do this without thinking charlotte, what is this you’re my beautiful little girl, what are you trying to do to yourself”

“mom” the tears were coming I could feel them “I just needed a change”

“this was not the right change that charlotte, not without asking, go on go to your room you know you aren’t meant to be out after 3.

I ran to my room.

**D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E**

**I see things that nobody else sees.**

**(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E**

**I see things that nobody else sees)**

_Girl girl girl girl, youre nothing more than that to them sweetheart, baby girl, that’s all you’ll ever be._

I am a boy my name is tyler

_Youre a girl **charlotte** no one will see you as anything else_

Josh did

_Josh didn’t see you as a boy he saw you as a girl pretending it and you know it come on baby girl we know whats going on here stop pretending to yourself_

Blurry please I cant not today

_Oh but today is when you need me most baby girl, cause now is when you need your only friend_

**Hey girl (hey girl, hey girl, hey girl, hey girl, hey girl, hey girl)**

**Hey girl, open your walls, play with your dolls**

**We'll be a perfect family.**

She wasn’t wrong she never is of course. Blurry knows best, how can you argue with someone who knows you better than you know yourself?

I pulled at my hair, the pain was good I was nothing to anyone anymore, I had to be the perfect daughter and I couldn’t be that anymore. I tugged at my skin, I couldn’t breathe, its too hard this is too hard I cant be she anymore.

**Places, places, get in your places**

**Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces.**

**Everyone thinks that we're perfect**

**Please don't let them look through the curtains.**

My name is Tyler Robert joseph and I cant do this anymore

**Picture, picture, smile for the picture**

**Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?**

**Everyone thinks that we're perfect**

**Please don't let them look through the curtains.**

I am nothing more than a doll. I will put on my dress and I will pretend its okay. But its not okay I'm sorry I'm so sorry

_Good girl_

From: tyler

To: Josh

Thankyou for looking through the curtains of my dollhouse josh. I am sorry

From: josh

To: tyler

Tyler what?

From: josh

To: tyler

Tyler what are you talking about

From: josh

To: tyler

Tyler?!?!

**D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E**

**I see things that nobody else sees.**

**(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E**

**I see things that nobody else sees)**


End file.
